Restaurant vows to give staff sensitivity training after autism incident

http://edmonton.ctv.ca/servlet/an/local/CTVNews/20080707/EDM_autism_080707/20080707?hub=EdmontonHome

Amanda Ferguson

A popular family restaurant vowed to give their staff sensitivity training Monday after an employee kicked out a family because their autistic child was making too much noise.

The ordeal began shortly after Sarah Seymour took her family, including her autistic daughter Eowyn, to a Smitty's Restaurant in west Edmonton on Saturday.

Seymour said five-year-old Eowyn began rocking, pulling at her hair and crying loudly when she was told her choice of pizza was not available at the restaurant.

"It was kind of obvious that she was different, she was acting like she was different, kind of like a really angry two-year-old except for this noise she was making," she said.

A staff member at the restaurant then allegedly asked the family to remove her. The mother of four then tried to explain that her daughter was autistic and would be calm in a moment.

Seymour said it was what the store manager allegedly said next that really made her emotional.

"He said, 'If she has autism and she acts like this, you should not take her out in public.' That's when I sort of lost my mind," she said.

Seymour said she grew so angry she decided to leave the restaurant.

"It was really upsetting," she said. "It's sort of like a slap in the face when somebody says that about your child."

Autism Society of Edmonton president Karen Phillips said there is still some ignorance in society about those with special needs.

"They don't want to bother other people at the same time, they want to participate in life like the rest of us," she said.

Patience, understanding and compassion are just some of the basic tools needed to interact with people living with autism, Phillips said.

An apology was giving to the Seymour family Monday on behalf of Smitty's Canada.

Smitty's is Canada's largest family restaurant chain with more than 115 stores open across the country.

Rob Sroka, vice-president of Smitty's Canada, said an emergency staff meeting will be called Tuesday for all Edmonton restaurants.

Staff will be briefed on what autism is and also provided with some sensitivity training.

"This was a misunderstanding I believe more of a language issue than anything else," Sroka said. "We want to focus on kids and families, not turn them away."

Sroka said he spoke with the staff member and the store manager claims to have never said the offending statement about taking the child out in public.

He also said the manager is a foreign worker and is new to the country, making the misunderstanding more about a difference in language rather than insensitivity.

The Grande Prairie family said they are happy to have gotten an apology, but they still believe more needs to be done to educate people about those living with autism.

"She has to live her life too, it's a balancing act it really is," Seymour said. "You just get tired of the discrimination, you do. I think our world is ready for this. Racism, sexism is no longer acceptable I think special needs people need to be accepted too."

Smitty's Canada also said it would like to work with the Autism Canada Foundation to spearhead a fundraiser for the cause.

7 Things NEVER to Say to People with Disabilities

By Daryl Hannah

1. "What's wrong/what happened?" or "Were you born that way?"

2. "Oh, if you just have faith, you can be healed."

3. Speaking slowly or loudly to someone who is in a wheelchair.

4. "I don't even think of you as a person with a disability."

5. "How do you go to the bathroom?"

6. "But you look so good."

7. "Oh, you're here, you must feel better."

Bad Bedside Manners

by Kathie Snow

Many professionals have lost their manners. After inviting me to present a seminar, several different meeting planners have "helpfully" warned me, "Some of our 'consumers' will be there, and they're more like children." Would a coordinator make this announcement during the seminar, when adults with disabilities are in the audience? Don't think so. If a meeting planner feels it's appropriate to warn me about people with disabilities, why isn't she also motivated to warn me about others? As in, "Some of the parents and professionals who are coming to the meeting are real duds." Many educators, especially those in non-inclusive schools, routinely use labels and negative descriptors about their students, both in front of the students and behind their backs. Ditto for many therapists who shamelessly call out "The Down's is coming in this afternoon."

The loss of manners isn't limited to our words. Our actions speak volumes.

Better Bedside Manners

http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1659065,00.html

by Laura Blue

Every patient wants to find a doctor who listens. But wouldn't it be easier if all doctors were just better listeners? A new paper in the Sept. 5 issue of the Journal of the American Medical Association suggests that it might not be so hard to make it happen: in the first comprehensive study of clinical-skills exams given to doctors, researchers from McGill University in Montreal show that poor scores in the communication portion of the test are highly predictive of which new doctors are likely to clash with patients in the future. By evaluating communication skills early on, say the study's authors, physicians and academics can better train and select the next generation of medical professionals. The exam, which was rolled out between 1992 and 1993, requires doctors to interact with actors posing as patients in a series of standardized scenarios; trained physician evaluators then judge how well the doctor takes patient histories, makes diagnoses, manages treatment and communicates with the patients. When researchers followed up with the doctors in 2005, they found that the docs' scores in communication were strongly correlated to the number of patient complaints they had racked up in their first years of practice.

The physicians who scored low on the test — the poor communicators, who were, say condescending, judgmental or flippant in their behavior — had generated a disproportionate number of those complaints. No surprise: the link between poor test scores and patient complaints was strongest when it came to doctors' style of communication and attitude — the way a doctor tells a patient he has cancer, for example, or whether a doctor ignores a mother's description of what ails her child. When Canada first mandated that doctors pass the communication test for licensure, it was the only country in the world to do so — and the move was seen as controversial. Since then, the U.S. licensing system has also introduced a clinical skills exam, which every domestic and foreign medical school graduate must pass. While few physicians or educators doubt that communication matters, many people question how well you can test something as subjective as communication — especially when every new doctor must complete the exam on a single given day, no matter how grouchy he or she feels. If we know how to evaluate what makes a good doctor, after all, maybe we can produce bette ones. "This could diminish quite substantially the number of complaints," says Tamblyn.

Renaissance Table Manners

by Lorrie Mealey

Renaissance table manners were crude, to say the least. Dining etiquette included no spitting across the table, or picking ones teeth.

By today’s standards, Renaissance table manners were somewhat…lacking, to say the least. As in Medieval times, diners shared communal dishes, digging in (literally) with their hands. There were no serving utensils, and no silverware. What we think of as “fine manners” (eating with a fork, no burping at the table) did not become fashionable until the 1600s. Those who did exert some type of dining etiquette could expect to be labeled a pretentious snob.

Early Renaissance Table Manners

Through the 1400s, food was served in a long trencher. Wealthy households would have some type of metal trencher, perhaps silver or pewter. Middle class homes would have a metal or wooden trencher. The very poor may have substituted a hollowed out loaf of bread in place of wooden trencher. People would eat from these trenchers, scooping out food with their fingers,
and using bits of bread to sop up juices and broth.

However, the Renaissance was not entirely without table manners. There were a few rules of etiquette that were expected of diners, dating back to medieval times including:
• No spitting across the table.
• No dipping meat directly into the salt dish.
• No picking ones teeth with a finger or knife.

Later Renaissance Table Manners

It was not until the mid 1500s that individual plates and forks were introduced to diners. Henceforth, the common trencher, a staple at European tables for nearly a thousand years, slowly disappeared (though it was probably for the better). People still ate in their kitchens, if they were a peasant or merchant. The wealthy took their meals in the main hall of their estates. Dining rooms would not become popular until the 1700s.

Where does the actual word “etiquette” derive from?
http://library.thinkquest.org

King Louis XIV had drawn up a daily functions, giving time, place and proper dress. It was posted at Versailles as an "etiquette" (spelled with an accent on the first e), a French word meaning "ticket", to help the nobles know what to do. It brought order to court society, and the code of behavior was adopted by the courts of other nation's monarchs"(Source: The World Book Encyclopedia, 2000).

The idea of etiquette rules goes back to the times when people began to live in groups and understood that it was better to get along with one another that to quarrel or fight. The first rules for proper social behaviour were developed in ancient Greece and Rome. Much of today’s formal etiquette originated in the French royal courts in the late seventeenth century. For
example shaking hands is one of earliest forms of etiquette. Giving somebody his hand a warrior wanted to show that he didn't have any weapons and came in peace.

Today many of us worry about etiquette: we need to know what to say and how to behave in a particular situation. Our language and our manners must be appropriate to the situation. Nowadays etiquette doesn't include so many rigid rules, but is more about "everyday living." Its "goal is to help all people of all lifestyles get along with each other." It is more about "common sense and consideration". There are rules which have changed during the centuries, for example, "how men and women interact" has changed considerably since the 1950's (Source: The World Book Encyclopedia, 2000).

Each culture has its own system of etiquette and they are sometimes very different. Behaviour that is proper in one culture may be improper in another. What is considered proper in a city, could be considered improper in a small town.

Wheelchair Etiquette 101

Disability Etiquette Training

Lunchroom Manners

Disability Etiquette

Frustrations of Mild Cerebral Palsy

As excerpted from: http://www.comeunity.com/disability/cerebral_palsy/mildcp.html.

Rene Z. Milner

As a parent who wants her children to be successful at all they try, it is hard to see her struggle to brush her long hair herself. It is very difficult to watch her eat without "reminding" her constantly to close her mouth when chewing, (this isn't bad manners, she literally can't seem to do it) or to take larger bites please! She cannot pour herself a glass of tea or water if the pitcher is near full - it is too heavy for her. She has no real coordination when it comes to PE in school, but she tries and that is all that counts so far. The mild CP diagnosis is hard to live with when your child "appears" normal to most people. Teachers and friends wonder why she isn't able to do many physical tasks as well as she does educational tasks. This is where her self esteem is damaged! It has been a struggle at times to reassure her that not everyone is "coordinated" anyway. For years she hated herself and hated it that she was the one to "get CP".

14 Table Manners EVERY Child Should Know

1. Wash their hands and face before sitting down to the table.

2. Sit down in their proper seat and put their napkin in their lap.

3. Wait to begin eating until everyone is seated and has been served. Many families wait until an adult gives permission to start eating.

4. Stay seated in their seats without wiggling in their chairs, going under the table, or getting up and down.

5. Say, “Excuse Me,” and ask permission to leave the table.

6. Elbows do not belong on the table.

7. Mouths should stay closed while chewing and pieces should be bite sized.

8. “May I please” and “Thank you” should be used when children would like food and never reach across the table.

9. Participate in the conversation during dinner and no interruptions when other people are talking.

10. Slurping, burping, squealing, singing, humming are all sounds that are not to be made at the table.

11. It is never kind or polite to make negative comments about what is being served for dinner.

12. Before getting up at the end of the meal say, “May I please be excused?”

13. Ask if adults would like them to clear their dinner plate.

14. Thank the cook.